What to make out of this all.

Hee it's 10min to my project meeting and i've been slacking so far since my class ended at 12. What a productive way to end my battery life by blogging here. -.-

Hee maybe it's a growing up thing... but somehow, these days, i'm much more acutely aware of my emotions, my feelings, and the things that fill my mind. Well that means that i become more aware of the much junk i place in my mind.

Not junk junk. But i stepped into school this morning with the same kind of mild dread and a feeling of just-getting-it-over-and-done-with... the kind i used to experience in JC, although the syndrome was much more pronounced then for certain reasons. (and then i start psychoing myself with my whole Jonah + territory story)

And i've come to the realisation of the word "instinct" and its many uses... my actions and thoughts are most of the time instinctive... not because it's not a result of logical thinking, but because sometimes instincts just mean that your past experiences/emotions/feelings have already been taken into consideration. I tried thinking through one of my instinctive emotions... and well, it led me all the way back to my JC days, and the source doesn't even start there.

We're meant to be self-determined creatures... but maybe i'm using my mind in the wrong way already.

God, fill me up with the thoughts You want me to think, and fill me up with the joy and the peace that surpasses all understanding. I've completed another route around the mind game run already, and i'm back here with You again. Lead me out of this circle and forward into that plan You have for me Lord.

I'm weak.

But He's strong.