Rant./

I don't need birthday presents.

I just want a nice little mint cake... and people to celebrate my birthday with me.

I concede defeat... i'm no longer going to put up the front that i seriously don't mind ppl not celebrating my bdae with me although i think that would be one of my good escapist methods.

But above all else, let my birthday be a praise to the One who created me. =) That's where my hope, my comfort, and my love lies.

Even if nobody spends my birthday with me, He would. =)

------------

Yay i've figured out why sometimes i like to study!!! Haha.

Studying for me is a form of escapism too. It takes away the stress from many many other things cos' my brain concentrates on the simple task of processing and memorizing knowledge. =) Today studying was a nice escape time from the many 'hitting-myself shujing you're not good enough' thoughts. Well... and many other weird little thoughts too haha.

Ah well. But the best form of solving problems is still by facing it.

Unless the problems are the momentary emotional ones... i mean, the kind where i know its just me indulging myself in self-pity or just some temporary emotional disorder which will tend to fade after a good night's sleep. =)

But right now, as you can tell, i'm losing my interest in studying. Or rather, i'm finding homework repelling. I'm now attempting to do sum3 history essay. So my stress levels are up a bit now. I should get this bit of homework out of the way then i can study in peace. Yup.

Maybe i'm suffering from short-term memory or something. I can't seem to remember what happened in the past week, actually can't even remember much about college day yesterday and my thoughts about it. That's a good thing perhaps, cos' it shows that the productivity level/day is rising, so i do more things, so i feel as if the whole week was very long cos' i did so many things.

Haha okie i'm attempting to console myself and psycho-ing myself that i actually have done some constructive things over the past week. Oh by the way, i studied for 30h last week! Haha. Not baddie...

Oh i think my birthday's coming up in a week and a day's time. I'm thinking that everybody will forget about my birthday so that'll just be a really normal day when i stay at home at mug. Haha. Remember a few weeks ago i was wondering who would actually turn up for my funeral if i die? (u've gotta turn up cos' i want ppl to try to pray for me to get raised from the dead if i do die haha) Haha so if nobody would turn up for my funeral, nobody would turn up to celebrate my birthday with me too! Ha. Talk about my insecurities. Ah well. Oh btw i think this birthday thinking of mine took place yesterday during college day when i was in heavy stoning. Anyway my conclusion was that, i actually don't care if people celebrate my birthday with me, cos' i know there are people around who do care about me and love me for who i am (well, at least some put on the facade that they do haha, and i'm appreciative of that effort to act as if you care about me but actually you dislike me =D). So yay.

So... uh, happy birthday to myself in 1 week and 1 day's time. =)

Hope the 18th year of my life would be one where i grow much much more in God. =)

Bless you who's reading this! =)

Good Morning!!!

Yupyupyup good morning!!! Here come's yet another glorious Saturday!

Which means, yay, it's go to church day, which is always fun! (but today's cut short by college day though)

Oh actually it also means that PRELIMS ARE 3 WEEKS AWAY!!!

I'm still in sleeping mode with regards to studying (heh i'm awake physically... i should be in order to type all these things out), so i'd better wake myself up into the full studying mode already. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Oh yea so i've woken up earlier today. Trust me, it takes lots of discipline for me to get out of the bed in the morning. (oh randomly, i dreamt about getting tuition in some centre where they give bible courses too... heh weird... that's all i remember. I'm sure they're other dreams too, i mean, i start dreaming once i fall asleep while studying, but they're all quite igsignificant so haha)

Oh yea i'm so proud of myself for composing 2 bars worth of a small nice little chord progression (complete with a changable tune), at around midnight. Maybe it'll be just one of those which i'll chuck out of my head at a later time, but ah well... when will be the day i successfully express worship in the form of music?

Ok yes i'm supposed to do my homework and print out some stuff for later... so i should get going yes. Shujing, move your mind out of blogging, 3... 2.... 1

--------

Haha... whatever i blogged just now just got deleted!!! Ah. Nvm anyway... where was i?

Oh yes.

Did you happen to see the evening sky just now?

It was soooo pretty. =)

Then i realised, i so seldom have the time to relish the beauty of that beautiful sunset sky in the evening.

(just like how many a times i fail to see the beautiful God and tarry in His presence even though He's just right beside me)

Anyway, haha i've another potential scene of a memory now. I will watch that beautiful sunset someday... with someone. I dunno who that person is yet though... and it's not time for me to know yet too.

When i see the beauty
of a sunset's glory,
amazing artistry across the evening sky.

When i feel the mystery
of a distant galaxy,
it awes and humbles me,
to be loved
by a God so high.

What can i do, but thank You,
what can i do but give my life to You,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
What can i do, but praise You,
every day make everything i do
a Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

When i hear the story
of a God of mercy
who shared humanity and suffered by our side.

Of the Cross they nailed You to,
that could not hold You,
You're making all things new,
by the power
of Your risen life.

Random

The people in my world are connected! Haha.

Ok i'm supposed to be attempting to complete my history essay... but i have no idea how to put these into nice lil structures. Euks.

Haha ok and i'm taking my small lil mind off those stupid relationship thingies. I've got better things to think about.

OH OH OH!!! And i was so surprised yesterday... when like many things rachael and roland said during their image and identity sharing was so close to what i did for my QT over the past week or so. Cute sia!!! God's so nice! =)

Oh the zoo was fun as well! Just made me think momentarily about the commercialization of so many things... it seems to me that it's almost innate that we draw up lines and contracts to make them our property, when actually, everything belongs to God! Wonder if we'd be judged too on the area of the misappropriation of His property. Heh.

RanDoM

Sometimes i go about my daily work and routine without anything at all to blog about... (or perhaps, i can only blog about having nothing to blog about. Ha)

I've figured out the only times when i truly use my brain to think about something productive, is
1) On the bus on the way home (even then, i sometimes fall asleep, or rather, most of the time)
2) In the shower
3) When i'm doing my QT.

Well... it's either i've got nothing to think about (since daily work gets so routine sometimes), or i don't have quality thinking time to think. I should think it's the latter... after all, i've got many things to think about... my cell outing this saturday, what and how to do in church, what do to next time in uni, who i can marry and dadadadada. Perhaps i could use more of my time to talk to God and see what He wants to do in my life. =)

I'm hardly feeling the urgency to study. Studying for econs and history is still rather painful... maths is the only exception, the only subject which gives me the kick of doing it.

Sometimes i wonder if my life would have been easier if i had entered poly. But then again, yea xiuyu reminded me, i wouldnt be able to meet so many wonderful ppl then, not have had the experiences i had (haha i think i grew quite a lot in JC! Even though in many ways im back to the 'childish' manners).

And yup, trust in God that whatever plans He has, it's the best i can get. =) Haha. It's always a nice and warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that i have a God who's in control of my life (reminds me of the song 'Jesus take the wheel'), that even if i screw it up, He will put it back in place, that even if i think i screwed it up, i still know that He has the best plans.

Oh ya anyway i thought about something yesterday... not some biggie revelation but just some little thingie which i've heard before from somewhere i think. Plan for the future, but live for the day. =)

The lovey dovey season. =)

Yup yup yup. It's love love love now.

Not that kind of love between a man and a woman, but the love between God and us. =)

Am listening to the song "all for love" now.

I've seen enough of mushy love stories (taiwanese dramas included, although i still can't bring myself to watch any korean ones...) to know that people nowadays are obsessed with love (or the lack of it).

We seem to be glorifying love... but not the one giver of love... who is, God.

It was because of love that the God created us, that Jesus died for us and rose again, even because of love that He allowed Adam and Eve to have a choice of whether to munch the enticing little fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Before I proceed into the "so my friends. Do you see it? It's dah dah dah dah dah" kind of preaching style, which isn't my motive here (well i'm more of ranting abt current situations that's why i didn't really include this in my strictly-defined QT), I should halt myself a little.

Anyways.

The world needs more love.

Yup... i was reminded about this after watching 'over the hedge' during the june holidays. It's really so heart-warming when you see the skinny lil thing wrap its arms around the bigger sized smart kiddo. (haha evidently, i have forgotten about their names... so that i've got more brain cells to store up the text from my notes?)It's sooo nice to watch something about the family loving one another (that's why i loved nemo so much).

And perhaps thats why sometimes i hate to watch those longgish draggy love stories... cos somehow they seem to be distorting the real meaning of love... (love isnt self-seeking! Think about the story about 'devil beside you' when the guy said "i don't care... i just want you alone"... that's almost like selfish love at the expense of others)

Oh yes where was i? The world needs more love. Yup.

Talk about the north-south divide. Haha. Perhaps if we all loved each other more, the world wld be in better situation.

Haha ok enough of me and my weird little ideas... see, i'm not inserting a tag board here so that nobody can directly critisize me here, and i'm not informing anybody abt my blog. I've figured out i wanna keep some ppl out of my blog (mean huh... haha. Self-protection perhaps...), but anyways.

To end off this little love post... just wanna tell all of you my friends... i love all of you yeps! =)

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices wth truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Lalalalala

Right at this moment, i'm building my spiritual house.

And my life's about honouring God, not about honouring myself.

That would include... getting a christian boyfriend cos' even getting boyfriends and that kind of thing would be about honouring God and not honouring myself. (oh yes i got back to this boyfriend not because i'm currently dying to get a boyfriend, but because i'm worried for certain individuals who well, have non-christian gfs and bfs even though they are christians themselves)(oh and on this point right, the preacher yesterday said that we wouldn't be obligated to marry the person whom was intended for us if we don't like them yet... but we'll marry them eventually anyway when God puts that love in our hearts. That's a relief... haha. The preacher actually had the first impresison about her husband that he's the last guy she'd marry haha.)

That would include... giving offering instead of satisfying my own pleasures first.

That would include... a whole lot of other things too.

Oh ya here's a cute little analogy... i haven't seen my brain before, but i know my brain exists cos' i use it. So we actually get to know that God exists when we "try" God out. Yup.

Ok enough of posting this post... it's time for me to return to doing my econs case study question (c)... it's a drag to do homework, but Lord, i pray You'll help me in this as well, and remind me that i'm doing this for Your Kingdom. Thank You Lord! =)

RandoM

Haha.

I've just checked out a few cars and their car prices. Toyota Yaris looks pretty cool. =) But its pretty expensive as well boohoo.

Anyway why am i thinking about cars now?

Okie im gg to take my nap now so that i can wake up and mug econs.

Ooh hope during my nag i'll get some godly dream... hope God takes charge of my subconscious too. Haha.

=)

Rainy Sunday Morning

Ahhh it's another rainy sunday morning. Heh. I'm just recalling the times when we were unable to get out of church after sunday service for lunch because the rain is too heavy. =)This rain didn't conjure in me feelings of nonchalance or whatever, but it did succesfully lift my butt out of the comfortable sofa in front of the television set, which would have probably remained there for at least half the day otherwise.

Ooh and i'm inserting the A level exam schedule into my schedule book now. =) After all, the bible says that without vision, people perish. My short-term vision now... is to study, or rather, to fulfill the responsibilities that God has given to me as student. =)

I think if i look back at my own JC life in the future, I would be thinking that J2 year for me would be much better than J1. Shall I elaborate on this point? Well... if u wanna know, you might want to ask me face to face.

I'm still unable grasp the ideas behind writing a blog. In my sister's words, perhaps this would be termed the "psychology" of blogging. Why would I open up certain sections of my life over some certain medium called the internet to the users of this medium who would potentially read this bloggie? Haha.

temPlaTe

Yay I've finally found a template...

Will maybe edit it a little next time...

But now,

it's high time i got to bed.

Dad's recording world cup so I don't have to stay up to watch it. =)

My New Blogspot BloG!

Oh yes I have moved yet once again...

The reason for the move this time round? It's slightly different from the previous times i've changed my blog address for the reason that I want to move on with my life and ergo I don't want to review my past anymore. My diaryland bloggie, which has been kept from public scrutiny, contains far too many sensitive issues to be opened to anyone and everyone.

So yes I've set up this little blogspot thingy to post for well, whoever wishes to read my blog. =) But i'm still trying to keep it private... so shhhhhhh ok. =)

And so, I hope i can find a nice blogspot template. Haha. I'd better start searching for one before my eye balls pop out because i'm too tired. Yew that image seems rather terrible. Heh. Whatever. =)