Young and growing

You're young and you're trying to grow and figure out where you lie in God's mighty plans.

You try to dream bigger than yourself because your God is bigger than yourself.

You try to love more than what you did yesterday because you know there is much more to care about than your own needs.

You try to connect and influence more in a godly gentle manner because you kinda know that's what you're called to be.

But you still struggle between the girl inside you and the woman you are trying to be.

Sometimes the picture is unclear although at the moment certain words will dictate how you expend that portion of your life.

Other times you try to have your life founded on the Word of God, but often it is unclear what the direct decision should be.

The beauty of it all? You depend on God... because you are He says that you are beautiful, you are His beloved, and He believes in you. :)

Discontentment

Was as usual getting out of bed (after a really weird dream) to do QT in the morning... well, i was ultra gonggggg today....

Then i realised... hey, actually why am i doing my QT? Out of a routine, or do i really believe God to talk to me? I mean, yes i can still feel the presence of God after i speak in tongues etc, but is that at a level higher than before? If it's not, then why do i have to do QT to get to a level that i've been at before?

Hmmm... wellies... i've decided to figure out my own goals of doing QT... not just a blind routine anymore, but something specialised for myself. :) Beyond knowing it in its terms of "devotion" or "quiet time", to know why i'm doing QT. :)

Lalala... if i get the resources, maybe we'd see youtube videos my cell blog soon! :)

It can always be better, but be contented

Life can always be better...

Friends can get closer and be there more;

Ministry can be much better without me making so much mistakes;

Studies can be so much better with me studying more;

My preaching and sharing can be so much better with more empowerment from the Holy Spirit.

But i am contented with what i have now and who i am now.

Happiness. :)

Wheee... my happiness isn't dependent on anybody else or anything else, just dependent on God's continual goodness to me. :)

I shall always be happy. :)

And you are invited to share in my happiness (and sometimes whining! haha). :)

Spiritual Life

Whaaa... all that's floating in my head is "put God as your first priority!" then everything else will come nicely in... that's the most basic.

That's something i aim to do consciously... God is not just my first priority, He's my only priority, and all other priorities arise from there. :)

God's my life. :)

And also, thanks to all of you who have been a part of my life... you make my life colourful and vibrant. :) Yay. :) And to all those who love me dearly, apologies if i dont love you as much as i should. Reciprocration is difficult sometimes. Haha. :)

Quiet Time Thoughts

I think....

We all need to continually ask God to help us know Him and love Him more. :)

To ask God for that discontentment with your spiritual life now that you want it to be much more alive and active and that He'd wake you up even early in the morning to pray. :)

To ask God for that discrepancy between what you are doing now and what has been written in the bible that you can do so that you'd know you should go the extra mile. :)

To ask God for what His heart is for those around you that you might be able to know what matters to God and that He'd enable You to do the things you ought to do even if those things are out of your comfort zone. :)

We're all not there yet on our own... ask God, to enable us to know Him and love Him more. :)

Weirddd...

There are a couple of emotions which you might experience in your lifetime...

Exhilaration... usually when you get to do something you really wanna do.

Excitedness... usually when you get to talk about what you've always been wanting to say.

Purposefulness... usually after you've gotten a revelation from God, for me usually in the morning.

Happiness... usually when people praise you for what you've done right and what you are supposed to do.

Disappointedness... usually when you thought you did something well and you're proud of it and someone else comes along and bursts your happy bubble.

Ashamedness... dont even know if this word exists, but it's usually when you've done something somewhat wrong and you weirdly don't wanna tell anybody, including God, about it.

Cognitive-dissonancing... usually when you've done something you wished you didn't do, but you try to convince yourself you didn't do anything wrong still to make yourself feel better even though you can be uber guilty about it.

Hopefulness... this is usually after you brace yourself up and find God and ask Him about not so much what happened, but what will happen. :)

Groundedness... when you hold onto a real promise of God for your life; not just something you heard over the pulpit but never prayed about it; and you know how God is going to lead you there.

Livingness... usually when you realise that God is God. :)

I used to attribute emotions to simply hormonal changes... and now i don't quite think that excuse works. So now the next question... how do emotions actually work, and to what extent can they affect your life? To what extent are you supposed to extend your life? I mean, yes i know God isn't so much against emotions... He just wants us to have God-centred emotions. But... rawr. Hah. :)

I just want You, my Lord. :)

I loved this sunday evening.... it was tremendously beautiful. :)

This song was playing in my head... "i just want You, Jesus... i just want You, my Lord."...

I like to preach loud, fired up, prophetically, correction, rebuke, faithfilled, inspirational. I believe that's how things are supposed to be. :) The challenging, faith-building, praise jerking messages.

But now and then, i still get the reminders, my really true real style... 

is for a soft quiet assurance.

It was beautiful... tears not of joy nor sadness, but tears of comfort. That you know you did wrong, but it doesn't matter. It was peaceful, it was restful. It was, God and me. "I just want You, Jesus... i just want You, my Lord".

Haha on a pretty random sidenote, just now comm meeting we were talking about GoP YAs going up for valentine's day, and i was like, huh we don't follow our cell groups meh? Then it was like, oh ya hor some of them need to be up... haha! It's now at the weird age where everyone's dreaming of getting attached and married. As for me... well, i used to say there's no need for a boyfriend. Now i shall put it the real way... without the correct guy, there's no need. But when the correct guy comes along, there will be a need created, so only then will there be a need for a boyfriend. Makes sense makes sense? :) So that you're not in it because you need to have a relationship with someone, but you're in it cos you sincerely love that person. But anyways i'm not qualified to discuss those matters, so for now, it's to pray real hard that the correct guy comes along. :) 

Aiyaarrrrr finding the correct one to love is small issue larr (it's just that time of the year so have to think about it somehow)... big things coming our way... we're positioned for growth!!! Praying hard praying hard!:)