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Yay i've figured out why sometimes i like to study!!! Haha.

Studying for me is a form of escapism too. It takes away the stress from many many other things cos' my brain concentrates on the simple task of processing and memorizing knowledge. =) Today studying was a nice escape time from the many 'hitting-myself shujing you're not good enough' thoughts. Well... and many other weird little thoughts too haha.

Ah well. But the best form of solving problems is still by facing it.

Unless the problems are the momentary emotional ones... i mean, the kind where i know its just me indulging myself in self-pity or just some temporary emotional disorder which will tend to fade after a good night's sleep. =)

But right now, as you can tell, i'm losing my interest in studying. Or rather, i'm finding homework repelling. I'm now attempting to do sum3 history essay. So my stress levels are up a bit now. I should get this bit of homework out of the way then i can study in peace. Yup.

Maybe i'm suffering from short-term memory or something. I can't seem to remember what happened in the past week, actually can't even remember much about college day yesterday and my thoughts about it. That's a good thing perhaps, cos' it shows that the productivity level/day is rising, so i do more things, so i feel as if the whole week was very long cos' i did so many things.

Haha okie i'm attempting to console myself and psycho-ing myself that i actually have done some constructive things over the past week. Oh by the way, i studied for 30h last week! Haha. Not baddie...

Oh i think my birthday's coming up in a week and a day's time. I'm thinking that everybody will forget about my birthday so that'll just be a really normal day when i stay at home at mug. Haha. Remember a few weeks ago i was wondering who would actually turn up for my funeral if i die? (u've gotta turn up cos' i want ppl to try to pray for me to get raised from the dead if i do die haha) Haha so if nobody would turn up for my funeral, nobody would turn up to celebrate my birthday with me too! Ha. Talk about my insecurities. Ah well. Oh btw i think this birthday thinking of mine took place yesterday during college day when i was in heavy stoning. Anyway my conclusion was that, i actually don't care if people celebrate my birthday with me, cos' i know there are people around who do care about me and love me for who i am (well, at least some put on the facade that they do haha, and i'm appreciative of that effort to act as if you care about me but actually you dislike me =D). So yay.

So... uh, happy birthday to myself in 1 week and 1 day's time. =)

Hope the 18th year of my life would be one where i grow much much more in God. =)

Bless you who's reading this! =)