growing up

We're all growing up. :)

We've grown to love more. Interestingly in church, you realise people get close to people they would otherwise not even meet if they had not been in the same church. It's almost like you get to see people from a totally different world when we all congregate together in the same church. :)

We've grown to worship bigger. To move out of who God was to us 3 years ago, to who God is to us now. Even for my idea of God... and of christatianity... everything has changed so much now. In depth, in breadth, and in height. :)

We've grown to empower larger. :) 3 years ago all i did was protecting. Now, with all my naggings all these years, i dont think i needa protect anymore. You all have your sound mind to comprehend what's right and what's wrong. It's time to send out. :)

We're all... growing up. :)

Work Related

Wheeeeee....

Sat in for a meeting today with a major company (cannot mention here, just in case i get sued for confidentiality purposes...), they were talking about futuretv, futuremobile, testbeds and etc etc. But what caught my attention the most was... something about... the future of the screens is that you integrate your virtual world with your physical world. So it won't be social networking on a virtual level alone, but rather, at least something location based. And if possible, real life avatars, or sounds or signals that combined both physical and virtual worlds.

But i was then once again thinking about the purpose of that. Virtual combined with physical world... hmmm... i would rather a million times over the heavenly and spiritual realm into this physical realm rather than the virtual world. Maybe i'm just old fashioned. But hey, nothing beats having a chat over dinner and then a movie at Cathay (with the good and sweet popcorn). It makes sense... it's sometimes anointing that makes the difference when you communicate with someone. And how do you wanna bring across anointing over the virtual world? Cann is cann lahh but hmmm. I get into more trouble when communicating online or even through the phone k.

But yes i'm not here to whine about the boons and banes of technology...

After all, i just finished playing a few rounds of Baja (car racing game on xbox) at work. :) Imagineee thatttt~~

you are the rhema

At the end of the week, this post stands as a reminder to myself for the many more weeks to come: do not invite petty issues so that you can entertain your life with stupid and unproductive thoughts and tantrums.

:)

But also at the end of this week, this post stands as a reminder to myself for the many more weeks to come: you are the rhema from the logos. :) You are the Christian from the Christ. :) Be found within God... and you'd reMEMBER that meeting that happened before time began; the meeting where God thought of me and you, and predestined us for the greatness in this life. (feeling proud of summarizing the book within a few lines)

:)

Once again at the end of this week, this post stands as a reminder to myself for the many more weeks to come: do eat regular meals and dont skip meals as and when you find youself lazy to eat!

:)

Neverthless at the end of this week, this post stands as a reminder to you for the many more weeks to come: whoever's reading this... you are dear to me and i love you! Be blessed. :)

:)

work

It was rather hilarious... there was a lift under repair today at my office... and the sign read "lift under stimulation"... was quite blur in the morning so actually missed the "t" until my colleague talked about. Haha. -.-

Well on another rather separate and random note... i was just wondering if such "technology innovation" was just purely for the sake of it; if "experience creation" wasnt substantial enough. Let's take an ebook for example... i dont think im a old-fashioned person, but i wld definetly prefer a physical book - although it weighs more, it can be carried around and you dont have to stare at screens that make you more tired than usual.

Oh btw... they were talking about having the 3 screens combined and collaborated into one single screen cloud thingem. :) Which i thought was a cool idea but at the same time - what kinda medical effects does it have?

I was pretty tired these few days... but not cos i worked very hard, but because i had to stare at the screen for long hours without taking my eyes off them. Think if i were in church doing stuff other than staring at the computer screen, i would have worked hard but not have been so tired.

So... the question at the end of this blog post: what is the point of such innovations?

And the answer... is.... (blank)

blessing

Because i started with nothing, everything is a blessing.

I cannot be fighting for my rights, because whats "right" and "just" has been meted to me.

I no longer work for my own dreams, but i work for the purposes of God... and i know eventually God will bless me so muchhh because of the nature of God Himself; He seeks to bless because He loves.

I dont strive to achieve something big just for the sake of it, but i strive to achieve all God has intended for me (which is usually big).

Every blessing in itself is absolute; just because something is small doesnt mean it isnt a blessing, just because something is flawed doesnt mean it isnt a blessing, just because something falls short of the what is the perfect doesnt mean that it isnt a blessing.

Because of this,

- I dont mind living in a hdb flat in future. That is a blessing. But a landed property or a seaview-like condo is good; it's a blessing too.

- I dont mind driving a small lil toyota yaris or even take public transport next time. That is a blessing. But having a bmw is a blessing too.

- I dont mind if i get 3.4 GPA. That is a blessing. But 3.8 is a blessing too.

- I dont mind serving God along in future. That is a blessing. But being able to serve alongside some man that i've committed my life to is a blessing as well. (i wanted to add more to the man thing, but i decided, everyone has a huge destiny lah...) 

I want the airport

It's another relaxed night and i get to slack a bit... NAH. :) Haha. I was supposed to give angee tuition tonight.... but i pushed it to tomorrow morning so that tonight i can work like mad with the to-do list i happily built up for myself over this afternoon. :) 

Wow shujing really can find work to do man. :) Haha.

So tomorrow, it's going to be another quiet day again. :) I need to be more independent lah. But at the same time. Haiyaaa. Dunno lahhhh. :) I quit thinking.

In all irony, i want the airport.

Office

It's currently a rainy morning and i'm blogging in the office. Hmm. Yes, im slacking right in the office, but not by choice... none of my supervisors are ard... hmm. 

I have decided, the next internship, i'm going to get some bank/finance institution one... the work until you cannot tahan kind. :) Haha. :) I need a more intensive work environment.... cos it somehow feels as if i'm having a holiday around here, haha. :)

Even hanging around in church last year felt better (and working hours were much longer, haha).

I think i feel useful working, that's why i like to work. 

But other than all such workaholic tendencies, i'm quite a normal person - with no plans up for labour day. :)

Big purchases

The big purchases in the coming 3 months of me earning money:

1) The Adobe student set

2) Rebond hair?

3) Ipod classic

Reminder to self: please, save money from the meals and the movies... and give more back to God.

slowing down, only TEMPORARILY!

I just realised, i already watched before the CHC sermon that i'm watching now. Hahahahaha. :) Aiyo, didnt remember, until i reached the super funny part about sexual relationships. Hmm. 

But anyways, so yes i'm like enjoying myself at home now slacking. 

I really think i cant hold on to such a kinda lifestyle for long, but just for a while, to breathe, to enjoy, not to think, and slow down to hear from God, is coolness. :)

I want to watch more of asia con, to think more God's revelations, to become closer to God. :)

When i save up enough money, can i be selfish and get for myself a ipod classic so that i can store music on my ipod instead of my harddisk cos my harddisk is running out of space and my music takes up like 30gb? :)

But anyways if you've seen me in my unhappy mood, i'm so sorry. :( I only just realised how insecure i am... 

the wind

I wanted to blog about the rain last night... :) About how just in time, i stepped into my house and the downpour started. :) I love the rain, love the smell, love the idea of it. :)

But what was significant about last night wasnt the rain, but the wind. When i was walking home i was like, "whao didn't know leaves flew so far"... it was pretty scary in a sense so i walked faster and faster and overtook the couple walking in front of me. Haha, if you think i was overreacting, hey, at was after all 11.30pm already and i was alone k. :)

But you see, with the rain comes the wind first.

Before you recieve that water - that dash of life - there's going to be the wind. That blows strong. That sounds so powerful. The wind is only representative of the strength of the rain that is going to come next. If you want some strong rain and the life that comes with it, you'd better be ready also for the wind, the stirring, the dashing and the shaking.

The wind's coming anytime soon... i'm feeling it already... a bit of trepidation, a bit of fear.

But i know the rain's coming soon thereafter. The hope, the love, the faith, the joy, the peace. :)

Yes, i am longing for the time when God answers not cos we're feeling so guilty and dry that we're praying and shouting and nothing's happening, but God answers cos we're drenched in His presence and no matter how far away we were, we know when we return, God comes in immediately as well. :)

The stirring and shaking, is preparation, not to return to a vague past, but a certain future. :)

random

Random...

Random... can i have fibre optics involved somewhere somehow for my wedding? :) On the floor or the walls? :) Haha. :) Candles are old-fashioned already, fibre optics is the new way to go! :)

Random... can i have a nice study room with air-con and a whole entire shelf filled with christian books and a flat-screen TV with a dvd player and a vair vair nice and comfortable long couch and just one movable table for the laptop if i strike it rich in the future? :) 

Random... 

Random Posting!

I was being a nosy nosy girl so i went to check out asia con stuff prices on attributes... i was looking at it then i was like, ohhhhh the CD is expensive. Then i scrolled down and i was like, wow the DVD is EXpensive. Then i looked at what was on my table... (not that i had to see to know, but for dramatic effect y'know)... 

It was the DVD.

Haha. Totally, hands down, win already. Not the price bit of it, but the heart. I wanted to still think "no lar, this kinda thing will get for everyoneee onnee"... but haha, ok, maybe i should change that thought eh. :) Thanks man. :)

So yes, i've got asia con to listen to, AFV, and a few other sermon series which i havent been following. That's going to fill up much of this hols, other than meeting up with people, doing posters etc and normal stuffs like that. :) But i'm really hoping to get back to God... to meet up with Him, and grow in Him to another whole new level. I need a spiritual injection of everything God. :) I need Him more and more and more and more. :)

The wedding. :)

It was a moment of "nopes i'm not going to cry i'm not going to cry, i'm not those romantic teary girls". Aiya, but it didnt take a romantic girl to cry.... well i was tearing when sarah was giving her thank you speech. :)

Awwww. :) I love weddings. :) Cos it's so difficult really, to see a good match coming together (think "championing marriages"), cos so many people pass us by each day and it's only a few ppl whose lives can intersect wonderfully into such an amazing relationship.

Well... am i waiting for my turn? Hoping for my turn? Or just not actually doing anything? :)

Dream weddings are still, after all, dreams. For now. :)

(Although ehhh my wedding ah, i shall get some live feed, more pyrotechnics with a spotlight walk down the aisle and all other lights dimmed other than tealights lined along the sides.)

(Then again, aiyar, meet the man already then say lar. :))

when the big meets the small

This is a beautiful world... Where the big meets the small... they interact and something special and precious happens... the fusion, the intersections, the meetings... :)

Where you realise how that small thing you did created a huge change in someone else's life...

When you realise how that puny job you did elevated you to the promotion that you God...

When you realise how that test you studied for got you that 4.0 GPA (ahhh God...) overall...

When you realise how that small ministry you performed contributed to your huge destiny...

When you realise how this small human being tugged the heart of a big God...

When you realise how this minor being of living is called to something greater and larger...

What do you say when that happens? :) "Hallelujah".

Look around

Look around - the things happening around you; they're not new; i'm not surprised that happened; cos it has happened before to those before you. Haha. Same issues; same age; same blurness until you dont bear to say anything.

Look around - the people around you; they're not new either. Haha. You talk the same to them, you do the same few things with the same few people. Same issues, same dependence on some, same independence on some.

Look around - yourself. That's the only thing that can be new everyday.

Thank God; He has the power to change my life. :)

A B C#m

Apologies for writing down this thought... i really do prefer jotting down sermonettes! :) They inspire, they build faith; but haha, today's mood a bit more "stupid" thoughts lah hahaaaa. :)

Well, let's discuss this in a structured manner. :) The inspiration for writing this struck while listening to CHC "latest sermon" for now, the phil pringle one... because of the worship song.

(Wha he just prayed... phewwwww...)

Alleluia to Christ the Lord

Nothing beats having an out-of-ordinary encounter. And i mean UNusual encounter. You see, you can even have repeat spiritual experiences over and over again if you're expecting the same level of encounter with God every time you go to church, or if you repeat your QT formula over and over the same for the whichever-eth year you have been a christian. But such UNusual encounters come once in a while, could probably get sustain you on a consistent upward growth for the next few months; make your proceeding few months after those months a torture when you find yourself not growing as much as you used to; always remind you to return to God in a powerful manner when you realise your spiritual life is not as before. It's a high, it's a reminder, it's a MOMENT. A moment which i would always remember... that hunger, that passion, that fierce cry. And God, please please give me such an UNusual experience again because i do need to move up to another level in You. The only pain is this - you need to be able to fuel that hunger and passion out of a normalness of experiences to reach the point where you are ready for the UNusual experience.

You are Good

Well, for now, it's school. Sometimes people yes. But generally, the big decisions you kinda make in life that affect you for a considerable and substantial period of your life. Or the small decisions you make along the way about the same particular incident, that accumulates until it features big in your life. Sometimes much tears... but because those are HUGE things, you always understand it's God that brings you through... somehow, i dunno why, therein is the irony: it has been easy to trust God on the big items but having trouble on the small items, but it's precisely through the small items that your big items get formed.

I Just Want You

Petty issues in life that occur... and in economic terms, there are the depreciations and appreciations, and occasionally, over time, as you would discover, the devaluations and revaluations. But yes, petty issues, that get you down for the moment, and get you up for the moment. But that's what you face the most.

If for a huge moment you were considering my sub-headings, allow me to offer some explanation...

Alleluia to Christ the Lord: all-time evergreen favourite song because that was THE song when i had that spiritual experience. Representative of spiritual experiences.

You are Good: probably cried the most for this song, cos it was the song i was listening to when i got back my A level results. Representative of the big stuff in life.

I Just Want You: Well, there was one sunday i was randomly listening to this and teared all the way home. Haha. Unnecessary, but just happens, petty issues of life that occur and i forget when the morning comes.

It's not difficult to differentiate the 3. But i'm still exploring the links between the 3.

Let's think of an example. Have you heard of people who said, "it's all about pleasing God, not about pleasing men" and those who claim "we need to see the people lar". Those are 2 extreme views, true statements but used in warped contexts. I thought it's precisely that you wanna please God (Alleluia) that's why you see what works for the people (want You).

Now this is when i'd get scolded for digressing and not giving an answer after all that i've discussed. Hahahaha. But i'm not teaching or preaching here ok! Haha. :) So i'm safe.

Bleah... abrupt ending here. But hey, sermon's more fun to listen to!

(No more running wild....) 

Random

This is already the last week of school! :) I mean, lessons lah. :)

And andd anddd.... i think we all face many petty issues every day of our lives. :) The consolation i can find in that - we're all constantly pettily irritating people, and we're all constanly getting pettily irritated! :) Haha. (Reminded me of CHC service...) So i cant exactly not get irritated, or i cant exactly stop irritating people... but for starts, to not get irritated at what im not supposed to, or actually, not to get irritated by petty issues at all.

The scary thing is not about the petty issues though, it always lies with the bigger issues of life. :)

That's something we're all still learning how to deal with.

I'm feeling... slightly down... but at the end of the day (ok, end of my thoughts for now), i know that God still has a good plan and purpose for me. I'd be happy in, counting down, 3.2.1.

Happiness that overflows. :) Haha.

If i get to post all these in a more lyrical manner, i can start writing my own psalms already lah. Starting with "oh God my enemies (like the cold air con, frizzy hair, unnice ppl) are against me, where are You" then ending with "praise the Lord oh my soul".... haha... i always had this funny thought that in our current context, any psalm wld just be almost emo (esp for teenagers who lead a good life and have nothing better to do other than do manufacture something out of nothingness....)

New blogger templates

Wow blogger template are now quite cool cos you can add gadgets! :)

Yayyy to blogger cos of google! :)

MA Quiz

Haha... i was falling asleep after i finished checking my quiz twice and wondering why people around me were still frantically calculating stuff... Hmmm... :)

Anyways! :) Haha. Last line i said to someone before i fell asleep yesterday night: "Haha ok... shake hands, be a good friend k." So funny. Simple solutions still rock more than complicated answers. :) I think i wasnt looking for something chim anyways! :)

OHHHH CHC latest sermon (for now), the God i know intro sounds cool! :) I likkkeeeee~~~

I AM OFFICIALLY HAPPY. :) Muahahahahahahaa. :)

And ohohohohohhoh april is on its way!!! :)

Rain

Haha it was pretty raining a lot over the past couple of days.

Alllll that nostalgia comes back again and again when it's the rainy day. :) I love it when it rains and i'm indoors, cos it gives a warm and fuzzy i'm-sheltered-and-cared-for feeling. :) Esp raining at night (add a bit of thunder and lighting) and when i'm at home when no one else is at home and i'm jamming my usual fav songs on media player. That's my theory. :)

Shaunster mentioned at prayer that it always rains when something good is happening (hahahhaa, there was one day when it was raining and i went to sms him, "eh, it's raining a lot nowadays so there are a lot of good things happening right?"), andddd...

Well he brought up the example of when we were going for fresh fire AG conference. That was like... before my final exams last year. It was going to pourrrr... and i remember sitting with Bel and Shaunster at Hans at Trinity, and i saw the dark clouds looming (imagine scenery... paya lebar there got not many tall buildings... so you get a very clear picture of the sky). And then i remember messaging and calling and volunteering myself to pick up some people from singpost and chasing them to come before it starts raining like crazy. That was the asia con time too. :) And then i went down to my car to actually studyyyyyy marketing! :) That was a special day.

Well there was another time when it was raininggg heavily. The GoP family movie night, when my mummy said the sinner's prayer, it was raining too. That was also, another special day.

A few weeks ago when i went to the airport... it was raining too! :) Not that heavily though, thank God the bus brings me all the way to T2 straight. :) Viewing gallery was cool, but you dont see much when its raining? Haha. :) That was another special day. :)

Yeps, cheers to happy special days. :)