Worship. =)

These 2 days (friday and saturday) probably marked the most happening days of my life.

I got back my results yesterday, and frankly speaking i was devastated by the A B C B3, i mean, everybody else gets AAA! I questioned God a lot, i cried a whole lot, and i failed terribly to recognize what i was supposed to do. So i was going on in tears for the whole of late afternoon and night. During pentacost i cried so much during worship i excused myself when worship ended to go to the toilet. (Ooh, thanks to coral for talking to me and stuffs. Hee.) It was only later that night that i slowly figured out that hey, this is God's gift to me, and i should be thankful for it. It took me a while more to figure out that i got it wrong... i looked and the problem and searched for God in it... but i should have looked at God and then look at the so-called problem... which wouldn't have been a problem by then!

Just now Rachael shared about worship. And lo and behold, the story of Abraham about to sacrifice Isaac. It wasn't like God at all to tell Abraham to sacrifice someone (God abhors that kind of practice), and moreover Isaac. But Abraham obeyed anyway, without actually knowing the purpose of it. And Isaac was supposed to be the one through all that descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky are supposed to come from. It didn't make sense. But Abraham still obeyed and worship.

And suddenly it made sense. What was happening to me. Thank God for revealing that, or else i'd still be in that devastated mood (see, God really puts you through only the tests which He knows you can make it). My results was something really important to me (judging by the amount of tears i shed over it and the hard work i've put in), and well, the not-very-good results pretty much horrified me. It was like that promise of i'm-supposed-to-go-out-into-the-world to make money, but i was like, huh now how? Why? But i guess all i have to do is worship. That calf will come along soon enough la. Hee.

But whatever the case, if it takes a A B C for me to understand in more depth a heart of worship and to get closer to God, then i shall say, its worth the small cost... cos the love of my God is priceless and its amount is beyond comprehension. =)