I discovered that there was this journal - "Asian Journal for Pentecostal Studies" - in my school elibrary! Haha. :)

Crazy right. :)

Maybeeeeee i can just have seminary info just in my own school now. :)

Simplicity

I would rather talk less if i could. :)

I would rather need less assurance if i could. :)

I would rather think simply if i could. :)

I would rather be more stable if i could. :)

But still, God always makes me happy and joyful. :)

Talk less

Hahaaaaa... it says that the average man talks about 15,000 words a day, while the average woman talks about 30,000 words a day... 

And i feel like decreasing mine to less than 30,000 words. :) So talkative and whiney lahhhh, i don't quite need it. :)

Actually hmmm i wld think it's not how positively it can go, but how much it can survive pressure and fights. :)

Sneakyyy ahhh

The sneaky overseer is blog-surfing... and really... through surfing through the blogs, you kinda get an idea of who's good friends with who. :)

But muahhahahhahaha i don't get a tagboard. That's good. :)

And neither am i a believer that any portion of my life can be make known to public. :)

Ohhhh weellllll but anyways this portion, after sniffing life (i said it's like drug addict and alvin said yeaaa you're addicted to Jesus so makes sense), is to learn how to be a good friend. Aiyooo even such things are so unnatural! :) Haha now ppl teach relationships until i kinda know what i'm supposed to do... but can someone teach me about friendships first? :) Haha. :)

21st birthdays

Haha...

My ideal 21st birthday is simple. :)

Just bring me out for a movie, then have supper afterwards at one of the usual places. :)

I dont like mass gatherings cos then i'd have to entertain myself and feel sad about why i spend my birthday alone even with so many people around.

I dont like expensive food either cos food to me doesnt mean much.

I dont like impractical presents cos i have too many other things i want. :)

I'm so picky lah. Buddenn again, i'm softhearted. :) So eventually, anything will be good and amazing. :)

Communications

It's interesting ironic that with the plethora of social networks and communication channels, we're just not exactly communicating a lot... :) 

You gotya facebook, twitter, msn, blog... but it's lke reading your bible without knowing God.

CAN WE COMMUNICATE MORE? Roar.

Human tendencies

We're always trying to strive to reach some kind of happiness equilibrum... :) There's a tendency to wanna try to correct what we think is wrong to what we think is right... to correct what we think causes unhappiness to what we think wld cause happiness... to correct what we see shouldnt be the case to what we see should be the case.

It's easy when your happiness equilibrum is changed by yourself... but often times your happiness equilibrum is affected by many other people as well. :) Or rather, you affect the happiness equilibrum of other people haha. :)

Whichever case, hmmm best is actually if you could change your own thinking and attitude so that you reach your own happiness equilibrum with the same old situations. :) So that you dont hurt the people around you; so that you dont cause any unhappiness for others. :)

This is such an egoism (one of the ethical theories) point of view lor. Haha. :) So sorry, utilitarian just couldnt suit the picture at this point of time. :)

Went one whole round and figured...

Wheeee! :)

I'm realistically saying, i don't understand that thing called romantic love. :) Haha. Asked, looked, tried to decipher, but nothing much gave any answers. :)

It would be nice if the principle of reciprocration worked everytime... but the problem is it doesnt always. :) So it's weird when it doesn't and weird things happen. :)

Then you're trying to balance out caring for someone, and really protecting yourself too. :)

Haha... well everything helps confuses me further, doesn't clear the air, does it?

I should stop thinking so much already, sorry for the blabber. :)

Anyway... i miss God, do you miss Him? :)

Awwww

One of the most romantic lines i've heard so far... rephrased of course... "Eve wasnt taken out of Adam's head to rule over him - but from his side, close to this heart and under his arm - to be loved and protected."

Awwwwww. :)

Haha.

Boo

It's a generation searching and crying out for love. And because there's love, there's hope and there's purpose, there's something to protect, something to care for, something to bother about.

You were a product of love, and you are meant to be a bringer of love.

Love that's unsmeared, beautiful, and holy. :)

Haha

Aiyarrrr... i should stop thinking so much. :)

Waste energy only. Haha. :)

Relationships. :)

It's really an interesting time of my life... :)

This year GoP really that loud word is "connecting" and "relationships". :)

And thank God over the past month i've already learnt so much about relationships... sometimes through the hard way, sometimes, thank God, by looking at the relationships for others. :)

Whatever the case, whatever experience i have, to use it to minister to someone else, and use it to honour God. :)

(Wow, good job shujing, that was a nice ending. :))

Young and growing

You're young and you're trying to grow and figure out where you lie in God's mighty plans.

You try to dream bigger than yourself because your God is bigger than yourself.

You try to love more than what you did yesterday because you know there is much more to care about than your own needs.

You try to connect and influence more in a godly gentle manner because you kinda know that's what you're called to be.

But you still struggle between the girl inside you and the woman you are trying to be.

Sometimes the picture is unclear although at the moment certain words will dictate how you expend that portion of your life.

Other times you try to have your life founded on the Word of God, but often it is unclear what the direct decision should be.

The beauty of it all? You depend on God... because you are He says that you are beautiful, you are His beloved, and He believes in you. :)

Discontentment

Was as usual getting out of bed (after a really weird dream) to do QT in the morning... well, i was ultra gonggggg today....

Then i realised... hey, actually why am i doing my QT? Out of a routine, or do i really believe God to talk to me? I mean, yes i can still feel the presence of God after i speak in tongues etc, but is that at a level higher than before? If it's not, then why do i have to do QT to get to a level that i've been at before?

Hmmm... wellies... i've decided to figure out my own goals of doing QT... not just a blind routine anymore, but something specialised for myself. :) Beyond knowing it in its terms of "devotion" or "quiet time", to know why i'm doing QT. :)

Lalala... if i get the resources, maybe we'd see youtube videos my cell blog soon! :)

It can always be better, but be contented

Life can always be better...

Friends can get closer and be there more;

Ministry can be much better without me making so much mistakes;

Studies can be so much better with me studying more;

My preaching and sharing can be so much better with more empowerment from the Holy Spirit.

But i am contented with what i have now and who i am now.

Happiness. :)

Wheee... my happiness isn't dependent on anybody else or anything else, just dependent on God's continual goodness to me. :)

I shall always be happy. :)

And you are invited to share in my happiness (and sometimes whining! haha). :)

Spiritual Life

Whaaa... all that's floating in my head is "put God as your first priority!" then everything else will come nicely in... that's the most basic.

That's something i aim to do consciously... God is not just my first priority, He's my only priority, and all other priorities arise from there. :)

God's my life. :)

And also, thanks to all of you who have been a part of my life... you make my life colourful and vibrant. :) Yay. :) And to all those who love me dearly, apologies if i dont love you as much as i should. Reciprocration is difficult sometimes. Haha. :)

Quiet Time Thoughts

I think....

We all need to continually ask God to help us know Him and love Him more. :)

To ask God for that discontentment with your spiritual life now that you want it to be much more alive and active and that He'd wake you up even early in the morning to pray. :)

To ask God for that discrepancy between what you are doing now and what has been written in the bible that you can do so that you'd know you should go the extra mile. :)

To ask God for what His heart is for those around you that you might be able to know what matters to God and that He'd enable You to do the things you ought to do even if those things are out of your comfort zone. :)

We're all not there yet on our own... ask God, to enable us to know Him and love Him more. :)

Weirddd...

There are a couple of emotions which you might experience in your lifetime...

Exhilaration... usually when you get to do something you really wanna do.

Excitedness... usually when you get to talk about what you've always been wanting to say.

Purposefulness... usually after you've gotten a revelation from God, for me usually in the morning.

Happiness... usually when people praise you for what you've done right and what you are supposed to do.

Disappointedness... usually when you thought you did something well and you're proud of it and someone else comes along and bursts your happy bubble.

Ashamedness... dont even know if this word exists, but it's usually when you've done something somewhat wrong and you weirdly don't wanna tell anybody, including God, about it.

Cognitive-dissonancing... usually when you've done something you wished you didn't do, but you try to convince yourself you didn't do anything wrong still to make yourself feel better even though you can be uber guilty about it.

Hopefulness... this is usually after you brace yourself up and find God and ask Him about not so much what happened, but what will happen. :)

Groundedness... when you hold onto a real promise of God for your life; not just something you heard over the pulpit but never prayed about it; and you know how God is going to lead you there.

Livingness... usually when you realise that God is God. :)

I used to attribute emotions to simply hormonal changes... and now i don't quite think that excuse works. So now the next question... how do emotions actually work, and to what extent can they affect your life? To what extent are you supposed to extend your life? I mean, yes i know God isn't so much against emotions... He just wants us to have God-centred emotions. But... rawr. Hah. :)

I just want You, my Lord. :)

I loved this sunday evening.... it was tremendously beautiful. :)

This song was playing in my head... "i just want You, Jesus... i just want You, my Lord."...

I like to preach loud, fired up, prophetically, correction, rebuke, faithfilled, inspirational. I believe that's how things are supposed to be. :) The challenging, faith-building, praise jerking messages.

But now and then, i still get the reminders, my really true real style... 

is for a soft quiet assurance.

It was beautiful... tears not of joy nor sadness, but tears of comfort. That you know you did wrong, but it doesn't matter. It was peaceful, it was restful. It was, God and me. "I just want You, Jesus... i just want You, my Lord".

Haha on a pretty random sidenote, just now comm meeting we were talking about GoP YAs going up for valentine's day, and i was like, huh we don't follow our cell groups meh? Then it was like, oh ya hor some of them need to be up... haha! It's now at the weird age where everyone's dreaming of getting attached and married. As for me... well, i used to say there's no need for a boyfriend. Now i shall put it the real way... without the correct guy, there's no need. But when the correct guy comes along, there will be a need created, so only then will there be a need for a boyfriend. Makes sense makes sense? :) So that you're not in it because you need to have a relationship with someone, but you're in it cos you sincerely love that person. But anyways i'm not qualified to discuss those matters, so for now, it's to pray real hard that the correct guy comes along. :) 

Aiyaarrrrr finding the correct one to love is small issue larr (it's just that time of the year so have to think about it somehow)... big things coming our way... we're positioned for growth!!! Praying hard praying hard!:)